The Dark, Final, End Stage of Alcoholism

Drugs & Alcohol

The Dark, Final, End Stage of Alcoholism

Untreated alcoholism is a terminal disease comprised of four stages–the fourth being the end. According to the NIAAA, an estimated 88,000 people (62,000 men and 26,000 women) die annually from alcohol-related deaths. This makes alcoholism the third leading cause of preventable death in the United States.

End-stage alcoholism carries defining physical markers and symptoms. Though it is not irreversible, it is very difficult to treat and has a high mortality rate. There are many ways it can kill, and most involve a significant amount of suffering.

Estimated 88,000 people die from alcohol

There is always hope though. Addiction-related medicine and treatment have come leaps and bounds through the 21st century, and if the patient is willing to try and recovery, anything is possible.

Of course, the sooner a person looks to get treatment, the easier the disease and its many complications are to treat. Knowing what to look for in a person who may be suffering from alcoholism is imperative. If the chronically addicted are to get help, they must first know they are chronically addicted.

The Development of End-Stage Alcoholism

The Development of End-Stage Alcoholism

No one simply wakes up one morning with end-stage, chronic, terminal alcoholism. Like all other types of addiction, alcoholism develops in stages. Knowing what stage of alcoholism  yourself or a loved one is in can allow you to gauge the level of treatment that might be necessary to ensure a proper and healthy recovery.

There are several schools of thought on how many stages of addiction there truly are, but most prevailing and popular theories recognize that there are four. Following is a brief description of each:

  • Stage 1: This is typically referred to as the experimental stage. Here, people will use a substance such as alcohol for the first few times out of curiosity or due to other factors such as peer pressure or a rite of passage. There is generally no change in behavior and substance use is contained. Most people without addiction problems never progress beyond the first stage.
  • Stage 2: Referred to as the social stage. In this stage, someone is likely to use in a social situation or for acceptance in a certain context (such as on a date, or at a football game). Here, the person still feels normal and contains the substance use to social situations, though there can be signs of developing dependence that the budding alcoholic might not recognize.
  • Stage 3: Typically referred to as the instrumental stage. In this stage, undeniable substance abuse appears. Many prevailing examples of it shine through, such as drinking to numb emotions, to cope with day to day challenges, or for any specific purpose. As the use escalates, tolerance will develop and more alcohol will need to be drank to attain the desired result. As tolerance grows, dependence develops and a person’s social settings are limited to where the substance use is acceptable. There is a fear of being without the substance.
  • Stage 4: The compulsive stage is the stage of full-blown addiction. Here, a person’s main preoccupation in life is the use of the substance, and he or she will do anything to get it. Shame develops and the person will attempt to hide the fact that he or she is drinking compulsively. Social circumstances deteriorate and a cycle of loss emerges. The addict loses or shuns employment, friends, and family. Health begins to degrade.

Alcoholics develop a serious physical dependency on the drug as well as the psychological dependence, which makes them particularly hard to treat. This also comes with a host of symptoms that are unique to the alcoholic in the late stage of alcoholism.

Physical Symptoms of Alcohol Withdrawal

Physical Symptoms of Alcohol Withdrawal

One of the primary physical symptoms of late stage alcoholism is that the alcoholic is chronically drunk. If the person is not drunk, he or she is likely in a state of withdrawal. Alcohol withdrawal comes with a host of symptoms that are generally easy to identify. A person is likely dealing with end-stage alcoholism if he or she shows signs of:

  • Enlarged, dilated pupils with a sensitivity to light
  • Severe headaches
  • Clammy, pale skin
  • Loss of appetite, and subsequently, weight
  • Nausea and vomiting
  • Rapid heartbeat
  • Shaking and Tremors
  • Hallucinations
  • Excessive sweating
  • Seizures

Make no mistake about it, alcohol withdrawal in an end-stage alcoholic can absolutely be fatal, and should be done under medical supervision. Seizures occur in over 5% of patients suffering from abrupt cessation of alcohol after years of heavy use. Most seizures occur within four days’ cessation of alcohol. If the alcoholic makes it through the first four days without a seizure, chances are reduced by 90% that he or she will have one.

Cardiac Complications from End-Stage Alcoholism

There are also cardiac complications to consider in the end-stage alcoholic. The heart is being damaged by alcohol while the alcoholic is still drinking. However, if the alcoholic happens to stop drinking for any extended period of time, the autonomic nervous system causes the person’s heart rate to skyrocket. Since the heart is already likely in poor condition due to years of nutritional and physical neglect, there is a significantly increased chance of a myocardial infarction, or heart attack.

Alcoholic cardiomyopathy comes with warning signs and symptoms. The late-stage alcoholic should see a physician immediately if he or she suffers from:

  • Shortness of breath
  • Swelling of the feet, legs, and ankles
  • Fatigue
  • Weakness
  • Dizziness or fainting
  • Loss of appetite
  • A weak or irregular pulse

Alcoholic cardiomyopathy often proves fatal. It should be treated immediately.

Alcoholic Liver Disease

Alcoholic Liver Disease can have a much more rapid onset than previously thought. Though many people can manage to drink without ever damaging their livers, there is now evidence that once a threshold has been reached, damage will occur.

Thankfully, the liver is the only internal organ that can regenerate. Unfortunately, it can only do so much. The liver of an end-stage alcoholic generally endures more than is can be expected to and come out healthy. Alcoholic Liver Disease often leads to hepatitis or cirrhosis, which is a scarring of tissues of the liver. The liver cannot heal cirrhosis.

Many end-stage alcoholics die from liver disease.

Signs and symptoms of liver disease are:

  • Accumulation of fluid in the legs (edema)
  • Accumulation of fluid in the abdomen (ascites)
  • Jaundice of the skin, mucous membranes, or whites of the eyes
  • Redness of the palms of the hands
  • In men, testicle shrinking and growth of breasts
  • Easy bruising and abnormal bleeding

If you or someone you know and care about is suffering from any of those signs, contact your physician immediately.

Wet Brain, or Alcoholic Brain Damage

Wet Brain, or Alcoholic Brain Damage

Also known as Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome, wet brain is a neurological condition found in end-stage alcoholics. It develops due to a thiamine (vitamin B1) deficiency. Thiamine is an essential nutrient not created by the body. A person must consume it to reach their daily amount.

Alcoholics typically have a poor diet, and alcohol also suppresses the breakdown and use of thiamin by the body. It does so by suppressing the enzyme that moves thiamine to an active state and also actively removes thiamin from the liver. Thiamine is essential to the production of several neurotransmitters in the brain, and without adequate thiamine, the tissue of the brain begins to deteriorate.

Wet brain is the accumulation of two separate syndromes. The symptoms can vary depending on whether the person is suffering from Wernicke’s encephalopathy or Korsakoff’s psychosis.

Wernicke’s encephalopathy symptoms include:

  • Confusion
  • Loss of mental activity that can lead to coma or death
  • Loss of muscle coordination that can lead to a slow, unsteady gait
  • Severe memory impairment

Symptoms of Wet Brain

The NIAAA estimates that 90% of alcoholics suffering from Wernicke’s go on to develop Korsakoff’s as well. Korsakoff’s symptoms include:

  • Vision changes
  • Drooping eyelids
  • Violent outbursts
  • Hallucinations
  • Confusion

Alcoholic wet brain is not curable or reversible. It is fatal in up to 20% of cases. However, if a physician catches the condition in time for treatment, the progression of the disease can be slowed or possibly stopped. This is only if the patient can manage to quit drinking.

Treatment for Wet Brain

End-Stage Alcoholism Life Expectancy

Once a patient has been diagnosed with any of the comorbidities that occur with end-stage alcoholism, life expectancy can be as short as six months. Many hospitals that will perform liver transplants on end stage alcoholics require a period of six months’ abstinence. It is unfortunate that many alcoholics at this point in their drinking careers cannot achieve six months’ abstinence. The disease is generally fatal by the time it reaches this point.

Recovery from End-Stage Alcoholism is Possible

Recovery from End-Stage Alcoholism is Possible

Statistics are grim for the final days of an alcoholic. There is a point of no return as far as what the body can handle from alcohol consumption. However, even though alcoholism develops into a chronic, compulsive condition, it can be reversed. Recovery is possible.

With a strong support group and steady rehabilitation program, some people can make a full recovery from alcoholism. So long as it has not passed the point of no return, there is always hope. After a supervised medical detox to overcome the physical dependency to alcohol, the patient can begin to work on the underlying issues that they have long been masking with their substance abuse.

“We accept many health insurance plans. Take a look at our Outpatient Program.”

However, even if the alcoholic has passed the point of no return and is going to die from his or her alcoholism, stopping can still have benefits. First, it can absolutely prolong the life of the patient. How long it extends the patient’s life varies with a number of factors, such as how much damage has already been done when they stop, how good the medical care is that the patient is receiving, and last but not least, how strong the fight still is in the patient.

When faced with this grim fate, if the patient decides to finally overcome his or her alcoholism, he or she can go to grave knowing that they have finally beat the demon that has kept him or her down for so long. They can also manage to enjoy their last few days on this planet to their fullest if they are sober.

At this point, quality of life matters over quantity. For a disease that robs someone of their quality of life, stopping, even when facing the inevitable, is a victory. That victory can lead the mindset of the patient to improve immensely, even at the end.

If you or someone you know is suffering from anger and alcoholism, don’t let it get to this point. You are worth fighting for. Recovery is always possible, no matter how far into your illness you are. Sometimes we just have to change our definition of recovery a bit, and that’s okay.

And in all likelihood, if you are considering trying to stop drinking, you are not past the point of no return. Talk to your doctor if you are physically addicted to alcohol, and don’t make any rash, reactionary decisions. You can quit. You just need to be smart about it.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is an Alcoholic?

An alcoholic is a person who has a strong desire or physical need to consume alcohol. They will continue to use it and ignore the negative impact it is having on their life. The National Institute of Health has reported that there are more than 15 million people in the United States who could be classified as alcoholics. That breaks down to 6.2% of the population.

Alcoholics do not know how to stop drinking and they are unable to put limits on themselves. They spend much of their time thinking about drinking and may try to put limits on themselves that do not work. Most people with alcoholism experience serious problems with their relationships, jobs and school.

A person who drinks moderately generally has nothing to worry about as far as becoming an alcoholic. It is only when their consumption increases and becomes a regular activity that they should be concerned.

What is Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD)?

Alcohol use disorder, or AUD, is defined as problem drinking that eventually becomes much more severe. Someone with AUD will continue to drink even though it is negatively impacting their life. It is a chronic, relapsing brain disorder in which the individual is out of control with regard to how much or how often they drink.

There are several symptoms that can make it easier to determine if you have AUD. They include:

  • Having frequent memory blackouts.
  • Continuing to drink even though it is causing you to feel depressed or anxious.
  • Continuing to drink even though doing so contributes to other health problems you may be having.
  • Drinking or recovering from drinking is causing problems in your life.
  • Going through withdrawal when the effects of alcohol wear off.
  • Having cravings or strong urges to consume alcohol.
  • Trying to cut down or stop drinking, but finding it impossible.

The more symptoms of AUD you have, the more reason you should seek out a change in your life. Alcoholism is a problem that only gets worse unless something is done to help.

Do You Have to Drink Every Day to be an Alcoholic?

No, you do not have to drink every day to be an alcoholic. At the same time, not everyone who drinks daily is an alcoholic either. There are many people who enjoy a glass or two of wine with their dinner each night, but it never grows into a compulsion for them.

It is best to follow the guidelines for moderate drinking presented by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. They state that moderate drinking for women is no more than three drinks per day and no more than seven drinks per week. For men, it is no more than four drinks per day and no more than fourteen drinks per week.

It is important to remember that alcoholism is highly subjective and it is also usually very closely tied to your mental health too. A person who has a glass of wine with dinner regularly has a much less chance of becoming an alcoholic than someone who has a drink every night as a way to deal with their stress. Both can become an alcoholic, but the latter is much more likely to.

Can End-Stage Alcoholism be Treated?

The reality is that most people who reach end-stage alcoholism do not recover, but not because they do not want to. At that point, people may find it really difficult to stop drinking and their health issues may make it hard for them to go to a conventional rehab center for help. But that does not mean that recovering is impossible for them.

It is possible to stop drinking successfully even during end-stage alcoholism. The best way to learn more is to get an assessment done from a quality alcohol rehab program. This can often be done right over the phone. They can recommend the best course of action.

Should Families Consider an Intervention if They Have Alcoholic Loved Ones?

Families with addicted loved ones at home should definitely consider staging an intervention. When you have a family member with a serious drinking problem, it can be emotionally devastating. Some people attempt to get their alcoholic loved ones to stop drinking for years without success. An intervention is a great option when nothing else has seemed to work.

Interventions should always be done by professionals who understand this process. They are called interventionists and they are highly trained in this particular area. They will work with you and other participants prior to the meeting so you will know exactly what to expect.

The best part about interventions is that they are often very successful. As long as treatment has been arranged beforehand, people typically agree to get the help they need.

Is Alcoholism Genetic?

Without a doubt, people with a family history of alcoholism need to be really careful before they drink excessively. While genes are not fully responsible, they make up about 50% of the risk for alcohol use disorder according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.

There are also other factors to consider as well. Environmental factors make up the remainder of the risk. There are many genes that play a role in a person’s risk for developing alcohol use disorder. People of Asian descent carry a gene variant that changes their rate of alcohol metabolism. This can cause them to experience symptoms like nausea and flushing when they drink. As a result, these individuals may avoid consuming alcohol because they do not like how it makes them feel.

Genes may also have an impact on the type of treatment that will work for someone with AUD. Some medications might work well for some people and not as well for others depending on their genetic makeup.

If you have a family history of alcoholism, that does not mean that you will become an alcoholic too. But it is smart to pay attention to your drinking behaviors and keep them in check.

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End Stage of Alcoholism

May 19th, 2019|102 Comments


  1. Sandra McGuire March 9, 2018 at 1:45 pm

    My sister is at end stage alcoholism and she refuses help. The doctors told her and the rest of the family that she has 6 to 12 months to live. This article is true.

    • Ashwood Recovery March 15, 2018 at 5:29 pm

      So sad to hear about your sister. Sending you hugs. This disease takes and takes.

    • Sue Collier April 2, 2019 at 4:06 pm

      My sisters the same she stops for couple of weeks the again shell start whiskey or vodka bottles at a time she wont tell docs and its hurting my mum

  2. Juanita Montague April 17, 2018 at 12:58 am

    i dont know what to do my son was Raped at the age of 6 years for 5 years never new that ,, I trusted my brother , now my son is always drunking he wont stop he is dying his belly is so big mind you he is 6 foot 190 was in good shape dont know what to do ,, he wont let me help him ..

    • C October 2, 2018 at 4:01 pm

      Im so sorry for this pain you are feeling. I’m no expert, just was raised amongst alcoholics.
      Your son needs therapy for all the emotional pain he is covering up with alcohol. Unfortunately, you can’t force him to seek help. Just keep loving him and let him know you love him. Do it without enabling him though. Prayer and positive thought to you and your family, Juanita.

  3. leigh April 25, 2018 at 11:33 am

    My dear friend was just diagnosed. It’s been coming on for a couple of years. Not working (living on inheritance) for the last five years and with family/friends held at her bay she declined rapidly. She hide herself away so no one would see/know her drinking quantity. She is 51 and has now lost the ablitiy to care (or drive) for herself, she must go into assisted living with monitored care. She has been committed until arrangements can be made. It’s a sad horrible truth to face.

    • Anita Palmer July 5, 2019 at 6:31 pm

      My ex husband died last night in his sleep. He was 40 yrs old. June 21 he was admitted into the hospital with pancreatitis and stage 1 liver failure. He left the hospital after 4 days was given some medicine and a strict diet. He had been sober since then.
      I don’t understand why he died.
      He was doing good. He wasnt supposed to die. My heart is breaking. I didn’t leave him because I didn’t love him. I left him because I did

      • Jazmine August 13, 2019 at 2:09 pm

        I’m so sorry for your loss :'( you did love him so much sweetie, I wish I could give u a big hug. My heart is broken for you. 🙁 I’m so sorry

  4. bryan May 11, 2018 at 2:01 pm

    would love to know how to get someone commited?

    my brother drinks a litre of raw vodka a day,has korsikoff,and basically dosent care anymore.

    • Ashwood Recovery May 25, 2018 at 4:45 pm

      Sorry to hear about your brother, and that is definitely concerning. You would have to check your local laws and facilities to find out what it would take to get him committed. Wishing you both the best!

      • Robin Blanton September 10, 2018 at 6:51 pm

        My brother went into the emergency room because he felt faint, nauseated, and confused. Aug. 9,2018. He was diagnosed with encephalopathy. The hospital transferred him directly to a nursing home. His girlfriend had informed the hospital she was taking him home and the Social worker of the hospital stated she would call the hotline and report her for taking advantage of a disabled person that cannot make decisions for himself and a threat to himself. We plan to seek a 24 HR. Memory care facility until he happens to get better. He still ask for alcohol everyday. The nursing home is the safest he has ever been. Our family is saddened by this development.

        • Ashwood Recovery September 16, 2018 at 4:29 pm

          Sorry to hear about your brother! Alcoholism is a terrible disease! Wishing you and your family the best!

    • Mindi Gontarz April 1, 2019 at 9:14 am

      I am a yo woman and had my stomach track removed in nov i was a heavy drinker and had a brain hemmorage in Nov, i feel like I’m getting better but still have many short term memory loss, any insight? Or suggestion??

  5. Roscoe May 18, 2018 at 7:18 pm

    Juanita I’m sorry to hear that you and your son were raped by your father and his brother alcohol is not the answer although I can see why you would do it and it’s really hard to blame you for being drunk all the time maybe it’s time to have the law come down on your father and your uncle anyway good luck!

  6. Mar May 21, 2018 at 4:01 am

    I feel for all of you posting on this article or reading this because someone you love needs help or because you need help. Unfortunately, I am reading all of this too late. My Dad just died of alcoholism and it is a horrible monster of a disease. Please know that if you or your loved one is still alive then there is still hope and you must get help. If it’s past the point of no return, I would say just to let the person know that you love them. Because once they are gone it’s too late. We tried “tough love” too late for my Dad …we didnt realize he was already in fatal stage and we wish we would’ve been more loving instead of trying to change him.

    • Ashwood Recovery May 22, 2018 at 2:56 am

      So sorry to hear about your dad, but thank you for sharing your thoughts with everyone. Wishing the best for you and your family!

    • Kelly May 31, 2018 at 11:53 pm

      Im 52 and feel your pain. My dad is 78 and is in end stage. Im living with him now for lastyear. He drinks all day everyday and is mean antagonistic wo t pay bills. Ive been doing this since i was 15 when my mom died. Hes stolen money and social sec payments . i still try but when i bring it up he says mean things. Im leaving. Ive called police adult and u name it. I cant take the abuse. He wont shower. Its horrible desease but enough is enougn.

    • Dara-Lynn Hockman September 24, 2018 at 4:22 am

      My dad also died this way. I’m 27. He wasn’t even 50 yet. The painful agonizing process was horrific.

      • Dara-Lynn Hockman September 24, 2018 at 4:23 am

        This happened on May 5th

  7. Chris May 31, 2018 at 4:31 pm

    hello, I have a friend who appears to have “Wet Brain”. She had gastric bypass a few years ago , which may be a contributing factor. She got into a rehab program but they sent her home because she’s so confused and can’t follow the directions they give her. Do any facilities treat wet brain first, then let the person go through rehab? Her family is falling apart and she can’t seem to understand the situation she’s in.

    • Ashwood Recovery June 2, 2018 at 3:31 am

      Sorry you are having such a hard time getting assistance for your friend. If you have any questions about our services and what we provide or how we do it – please do reach out to us at

  8. Amanda June 13, 2018 at 12:38 pm

    This article is so true and its so sad cause I just lost my dad last month may 5th…he drank really bad when I was growing up and finally quit for 17 years was doing so good we have no idea why he had a set back after all these years but we all found out he started back drinking in October of 2017 it went from straight liquor to a case of beer a day none of us really knew if he was suffering always kept to himself. He was 70 and we begged him to stop and he would always answer i can’t stop.. He died so suddenly that morning he was gone before he fell on the floor.. I never thought he would do something so hurtful to his self and leave the people he loved behind.. I honestly still to this day say what was hurting him so bad why didn’t he say he was suffering could I have helped him somehow… I don’t know how bad he was suffering or did he know and feel like it was the end for him. So many unanswered question that will always be in the back of my head. If you know of anyone needing help don’t wait till its the end for them to do something push it till they get help and save another life before its too late.

    • Ashwood Recovery June 15, 2018 at 5:13 pm

      Thanks so much for this insightful information. Wishing you and your family peace after your dad’s unanswered questions. Alcoholism is a terrible disease and since he was unable to speak up about what the underlying issues were, or even just about his addiction, sounds like he was unable to get the help he desperately needed. Thank you for sharing!

    • Emily October 20, 2018 at 5:42 pm

      Dear Amanda, I feel for your loss. I can relate as my brother passed with a similar story of being sober free and then returning back to alcohol leading ultimately to his death in a matter of months. In my opinion this disease takes over their being in every way, even the love for others in their life. I miss my brother so much! We had talked just 2 days prior. I went through many phases asking and blaming. It is so Heart-breaking…

  9. Brandi Hilbun June 15, 2018 at 1:17 am

    My husband is an alcoholic. We found out about a year ago that he has cirrhosis. However, he chose to keep drinking. It went from
    His pancreas to his gallbladder and now he had a recent procedure for esophagus bleeding that required 4 bands being placed on his veins. This just took place two weeks ago. Today made two full weeks without any alcohol. Which is a HUGE accomplishment for him considering he drank a 12 pack a day and sometimes mixed whiskey when he could “sneak” it.. well today I get home from work and found out he drank 4 beers. It’s very heartbreaking considering he was told that if he didn’t stop drinking the doctors gave him 6 months, and that was being generous. I’m hurt and very upset because I feel as usual that the kids and I are the ones that continue to pay the price for this horrible addiction that he has, but yet he is still being selfish in doing it. I have been dealing with this for 24 years and all I want is to enjoy what time we may have left together with him being sober. I don’t think that’s to much to ask! Alcoholism is a horrible disease and if you don’t have it or have never been through it with someone you love it’s hard to understand it. And so many people are quick to judge and point fingers when they don’t understand the addiction!

    • Ashwood Recovery June 15, 2018 at 5:27 pm

      Brandi you are absolutely correct that others will never understand Alcoholism until they or someone close to them are affected. Sorry that your husband has chosen to drink again after 2 weeks of sobriety. Have you checked into rehab or other options for him? Ashwood Recovery can help – if you want more information please visit us at – wishing you and your family the best!

    • Angela Harguess November 8, 2018 at 9:08 pm

      I am so sorry to hear that. I understand you pain. My husband is in ICU right now with a failing liver. I don’t know what to expect or how this will end, but I too just want to enjoy anytime I can get with him left while he’s sober. I’m so sad and ANGRY that he choose to drink over staying sober for me and my kids. I don’t know what will happen next but I can only pray that he might heal some. This disease is UGLY and it sucks because it’s something that could be preventable. He’s been in rehab previously.

  10. Alison June 27, 2018 at 1:35 pm

    My partner appears to be at the end stages of his alcoholism. His memory is severely impaired, he hallucinates, makes up false stories and has violent outbursts. This goes on daily. He has not worked in over 8 years. I have lost all my friends and really have no support. Today is his 54th birthday and he began the morning by downing a 6 pack. I went to work and fully expect him to be trash talking drunk when I arrive back home.. He gets his booze money from an inheritance. He drinks to oblivion every single day. Weekends with him are the worst. He has no intention of stopping and I am just waiting for him to die. That sounds harsh but I am living in my own hell by having to endure all that his throws my way. Basically, he has trashed my house and I am just at the end of my rope. Talking to him is impossible because all conversations result in him screaming at me and calling me some very rude names. I feel completely numb inside. My only way out will be when he is in a pine box with his case of beer.

    • Ashwood Recovery July 26, 2018 at 3:56 am

      So sorry that you are feeling helpless. I know you have tried talking to him, but it might be worth trying again or taking other action. Wishing you the best for your future!

    • Kat August 16, 2018 at 1:17 pm

      You’ve just written my life. It’s constant… Calling me the most horrible things everyday, trying to goad out teenage son into a fistfight. I’m at the point that when his drinking does kill him, then he can’t hurt me, or his children anymore.

    • G August 21, 2018 at 8:01 pm

      I felt like I was reading a page from my own life when I read this… my BF is the same way except his drink of choice is anything 100 proof. He doesn’t work, trashes the house, and expects me to take care of everything. I don’t live with him, thank goodness, but weekends when I’m there feel like hell sometimes. I get yelled at and called names also, I don’t know how much more I can take.

    • Jennifer Sikula September 13, 2018 at 1:37 am

      I feel your pain. I lost my beloved husband this past April; I was only able to live with him on & off for the past 2 years because I was so angry at him, emotionally devastated, depressed, etc. He, like your husband, had gotten an inheritance, So he no longer had to work. Do not feel guilty about wishing that he would pass away already as it is so hard to see your loved one that way.; they themselves want to be dead; at least that was the way w/ my husband. I refer to his last 2 mos. as “ passive suicide” He had TOTALLY given up; I tried all avenues- EMT’s, mobile mental health unit, adult protective services, his AA FRIENDS, our pastor . I finally told him that he “ either had to agree to go to the hospital ( edema was moving up his body, up to his abdomen; all judgement & reasoning gone ; TOTAL loss of hygiene & would not allow anyone to help him get to bathroom or clean him up or wear a Depends; etc) or we needed to start planning his funeral. He chose to start planning his funeral… he passed 3 wks later.
      Hugs to you.?

      • Suzan Bowman March 4, 2019 at 6:58 pm

        Jennifer, I’m going thru this now with my significant other. He does wear a Depends, but doesn’t want it changed. They are really nasty if not changed. I have a baby monitor to keep up with him. There are many times he talks to me like I’m in the room. He stays in “his” room now, at least it’s only one room that is messed up and smelling. He kicks everything off the desk at night, including his bottle (he’s a rum drinker)and then blames me for moving it. He doesn’t want anyone called. We’ve been thru all that already and he doesn’t think they can help him. I know at this point he does have wet brain and his eyes are yellow at times. Am also thinking that he has reverse tolerance, as he seems to get drunk faster. I don’t know how much longer he has, but just trying to get thru it with him. I’m sorry you had to go thru this with your hubby. Thanks for listening.

    • Jennifer Sikula September 13, 2018 at 1:42 am

      Oh, and one more thing, AlAnon was literally a lifesaver for me! I contemplated killing myself several times because he convinced me that I was the one who had caused him to drink after being sober for 19 years.

    • Melissa Loyer January 12, 2019 at 5:46 am

      This sounds exactly like my husband! Except there is no better days, he drinks the same everyday, but the past 2 weeks I’ve noticed he gets drunk a lot quicker now. After calling a hot line they explained that it is probably something called “reverse tolerance “. It’s been 23 years now I’m dealing with his drinking he doesn’t even admit he has a problem I don’t know how long he will live cause he won’t go to the doctor

  11. Charlotte June 29, 2018 at 4:43 am

    My child’s father recently had a liver transplant due to a completely cirrhotic liver(9/2017). Prior to the operation he was severely jaundice, had to be drained, swelling, esophageal varicies multiple times and multiple bands. About 3 weeks after his surgery I caught him drinking and it has since taken on a life of its own. He is on disability, however, failed to refile the paperwork so has temporarily lost the benefits for himself, our child, and his 2 other sons from his soon to be ex wife. His drink of choice is vodka and he continuously drinks to the point where it’s been reported to be at .39 and .38(per recent arrest records). He has destroyed all life around him and broke our child’s heart… he no longer is allowed to see any of his children and doesn’t seem to know what’s even going on… he is 38 years old. How much longer can he live like this? We have continuously been “over supportive” throughout these years and for sure have taken active roles as enablers. However, we stopped this as of recent… does anyone know from experience how long someone with a new liver can survive on a diet of straight vodka?? He for sure has wet brain and seems to not give a shit about anything more honestly now… this has been by far the ugliest event in our lives to co star in. Any advice would be helpful.

    • Ashwood Recovery July 26, 2018 at 3:54 am

      Sorry you are having to go through this! Alcoholism is definitely a nasty addiction. Wishing you and your family the best.

  12. Anonym July 21, 2018 at 9:06 pm

    (I’m from Slovakia so sorry – my English won’t be correct)
    I’m 21. My father is an alcoholic for circa 10 years, maybe more. He has a beer three times a day, everyday, for those 10 years. He often combine this with Vodka or other “hard” alcohol. We can’t even have bottles or wine or other bottles, which we have stored for friends or for celebrations – he just open it and drink it. He has no job, no money, he’s drinking to debt. As far as I remember for those last 10 years he never bought nothing for nobody – nothing for me, nothing for my mother, nothing for whole family or for household.
    This month he was diagnosed with cancer of tongue (or neck, I don’t know how to describe that part of body into English). I guess he’s in last stage. I wasn’t crying when he was diagnosed by that – I just knew it’ll happen. Maybe it will sound morbid or nihilistic, but I’m just waiting for that to be over. He doesn’t want any cure, nothing.
    I cross fingers for your Recovery. I hope you’ll help people or protect them not to fall into this.
    I don’t know what else to say. It’s night, I’m doing my bachelor work while my father – is drunk again.

    • Ashwood Recovery July 26, 2018 at 3:32 am

      Thank you for sharing your personal story. Sorry you are going through this and have for quite some time. Wishing you and your family the best.

    • Shane August 25, 2018 at 7:11 am

      Hope you can one day have a family of your own and treat them right. Take care… Life is not easy but you are worth fighting for.

  13. Cris July 29, 2018 at 4:38 am

    So I’ve been dating this guy for 4 years. He has lost his “good job” and cant hold any other for more than about 2 months max. He lives in a house his parents own and they keep up the Bill’s when he cant. He is 49 yrs old he binge drinks…I believe.thats what he does. He will go anywhere between 2 to 6 weeks sober then for 2 to 3 weeks straight…I mean 24/7 on a constant slumber. He will wake up drink straight bourbon or vodka and back to sleep. He has been to rehab many times e.r. several times seems like all blood work comes back normal..I dont see how? Bac levels 5.0 and above! He dont shower doesn’t have water intake and very little food… what I want to know is how long can a person live or recover like this??? Theres nothing I can do…believe me I have tried.

    • Ashwood Recovery September 8, 2018 at 6:36 pm

      Thank you for sharing your story! For an addict to change, they have to want to make that change. If he is ready to become sober and needs help, feel free to reach out to us!

    • Michelle May 26, 2019 at 10:02 pm

      This is exactly what I went through for four years. What happened? Did he change? I’m still hoping for change or clarity… I’m tired of getting blamed and hurt for this, and for clarity to ever really come through… did it?

    • Kathy June 18, 2019 at 12:52 pm

      PLEASE all you folks www are “dating” all alcoholics: I believe that those of you who have taken the marriage vows should probably try to handle the situation as best you can , but those of you who have not taken the alcoholic for better or worse need to understand that you will become a victim– as well as (God forbid) any children you may have. This is something that you need to understand because alcoholics cannot be changed from the outside, they must find the will to change within , and many of them never do . You will become a nursemaid and watch them die a horrible death . There are many eligible people in the world, try to make your life mean something raher than sacrificing it to a lost cause.

  14. Dawn August 2, 2018 at 12:51 am

    It’s so hard to read all these stories and recognizing that I am on the same road.
    I went and saw a therapist today for me. He asked what I wanted out of the sessions. I had to think about it for a minute but then realized I want to know how to live with my alcoholic husband. He is not going to quit drinking and I’m not ready to quit my marriage. I’m also not willing to quit living my life.
    Tomorrow night I’m going to my first Alanon meeting for me.

    • Ashwood Recovery September 8, 2018 at 6:32 pm

      So glad that this article resonated with you. Wishing you and your family the best on your journey!

  15. Omar August 19, 2018 at 7:01 am

    My name is omar I’m 26 n gay and an alcoholic. I have been trying to quit for the longest. I honestly think I’m at the last stage already. Everything hurts inside, I have spitted out blood before and My skin looks like it has a rash it’s all red . I have lost many jobs and got distant from my family . I have been depressed all my life since coming out at 16 and also because I also been single all my life i feel so lonely .And to make things worse alcohol turns me into a s**t . I have unprotected sex when I’m drunk with random guys I meet online and i never see them again . Then the next day I feel terrible . Sober me would never do that . Also because of alcohol I got HIV at 24 and I dont even know who gave it to me? . So that made my depression even worse and I started drinking even more. So i still continue meeting guys for unprotected sex while drunk i never liked drugs so my problem is not drugs. i have tried them all but their not for me ,my problem is alcohol and its destroying me , I know I have a problem and I have gone to AA but it dont work for me . I keep falling back to drinking . Its so hard . I want to quit I really do. I’m drunk every day. I have had suicidal before so I’m also worried that I might go ahead with them when I’m really drunk . My neighbor and ex coworker are also like me alcoholics and depressed. So we hang out a lot and get drunk . So I know that doesnt help me. I just dont know what to do I feel worthless like I’m not good for nothing . I cry myself every night too sleep. I just dont know what to do anymore…

    • Ashwood Recovery September 8, 2018 at 6:11 pm

      Sorry you are going through all of this. If you want help we can help you, feel free to contact us anytime

    • Emily October 20, 2018 at 5:49 pm

      Omar, I read your desperate cry of hurt and for help.The only thing I can say and do for you is to pray for you. Omar, I promise you that I will include you in my prayers now. Please know that you are not alone. God Bless You!

  16. Jim Choate September 2, 2018 at 12:48 am

    Help I’m watching my twin brother die. He has no insurance and needs rehab. He looks so bad I cry . Eyes literally swimming in different directions. Can hardly walk even when he’s not been drinking and loss of coordination. Tearing family apart. Sadly what I’m learning is even if he’s willing to go somewhere for the most part treatment is more about $ than getting someone in ASAP. Very frustrating, wish I could simply make a call talk to someone and they would readily accept him in somewhere or find a bed. But it’s not that easy . Always hear some sort of problem . I need someone to tell yes Bring him , today, now and we will treat him . I need to be able to bring him somewhere immediately.

  17. Kelly September 4, 2018 at 3:43 am

    My mother has been in and out of the hospital for several falls. During her last stint as an inpatien that required 3 blood transfusions, I asked social workers to come in and help her to a rehab directly from the hospital–she refused. She then called me and told me to stop it and have them stop bothering her. Well, now Mom is back home and fell again. My father called 911. The police visited and said they can not bring her to hospital if she refuses. I am at a loss. She has all the symptoms of wet brain. Is there anything else, I can do? I feel like it is time to give up as it has taken quite a toll on me and rest of family. How do people deal with this? So sad. So angry. So frustrated. So to the point that I prayed for her to die in peace and comfort. I never dreamed anything like this could happen.

    • Ashwood Recovery September 8, 2018 at 5:40 pm

      So sorry to hear about what you and your family is dealing with! Hoping you can get some help for your mom soon. Wishing the best for you and your family!

  18. Loving family member September 9, 2018 at 2:49 am

    Families…keep trying to help your loved one, don’t become an enabler. We lost a valuable family member this week due to alcoholism. It destroyed the person, hurt the person’s family, contributed to a divorce, affected employment, hurt family / friends around the person, and unfortunately it eventually contributed to the person’s death. We don’t get a second chance. Once the doctors diagnosed a 3 months mark, it was spot on. Family member didn’t make it passed it. I don’t know how they know, but doctors with their experience & knowledge know. I plead with you to keep trying. Ultimately I acknowledge it is up to the addicted family member, but don’t go down without a fight. For us, it’s heartbreaking as it’s too late.

    • Ashwood Recovery September 16, 2018 at 4:38 pm

      Sorry to hear about your loss! You are absolutely correct that no one should give up, including us! We will continue to raise awareness in the hopes of saving more! Wishing you and your family the best moving forward.

  19. Anon September 24, 2018 at 8:44 pm

    Just lost my best friend to this evil disease today…

    Loss of words, and a lot of regrets.

    • Ashwood Recovery October 16, 2018 at 3:27 am

      We are truly sorry for the friend you have lost. Best wishes for a bright tomorrow for you and your friend’s loved ones.

  20. Anon October 24, 2018 at 1:14 pm

    My mother has been an alcoholic since I was little, it’s been probably close to 20 years she’s been drinking. Every holiday, every occasion she shows up intoxicated, often calls us intoxicated. She drinks hard liquor, whatevers cheaper. I’m not sure what to do for her, I’m at a point where it is unbearable to be around her, she showed up to my first time wedding dress shopping intoxicated. She often denies that she’s drunk if we approach her about it. I don’t even know how she is still alive after almost 20 years of this…I worry about it everyday.

    • Ashwood Recovery October 31, 2018 at 5:29 am

      It is a painful experience to watch a parent struggle throughout the majority of your life. Continue to look out for your Mother, Anon, and stay strong.

    • Kao November 22, 2018 at 2:45 pm

      I am so sorry you have to endure this! I have been dealing with a mother like this for 50 years. All I can say is to make your boundaries with her to keep yourself emotionally healthy. For example, I have a cut-off time when I leave her house for thanksgiving. Then I go do something fun with my children. It is difficult and sad to watch alcohol kidnap my mom. Sometimes I wish she had never known alcohol. I’ve done everything I can within reason. A friend of mine once told me to “love them where they are”. This has been great advice for me. I know she will be healed in heaven one day!! Take care of yourself and know the ones you love love you!

  21. Bella October 25, 2018 at 9:04 pm

    My name is Bella…
    I was married to the only man I have ever really loved, even though he was a scoundrel and a rebel.
    When we first began to see each other, he drank beer and a lot of it.
    Soon, I was unable to take it anymore and told him.
    He promised he would go to treatment if I stayed and he did.
    He stayed sober for 4 months. It would be the last time he would ever be sober.
    He then promised me that if I gave him a son, he would stop and never drink again.
    I gave him a beautiful son whom he loved, but again alcohol again took him away.
    I divorced him when our child was 8mths old.
    And my now ex-husband continued to drink becoming the absent father that my son never really got to know. and hardly saw as he grew up.
    When his mother passed away, I knew this would soon be the end for him.
    He spent the next several years trying to drink himself to death.
    He ended up with cancer of the esophagus due to chronic smoking and alcohol.
    His voice box was taken out and a few months later the cancer came back and spread to his bones.
    By this time, he was homeless and living on the streets as sick as he was and we didn’t know as he kept his whereabouts secret and he was very, very ill.
    It finally ended one night when he hemorrhaged to death in his apt.

    I cannot think of him to this day without tears in my eyes.

    • Ashwood Recovery October 31, 2018 at 5:22 am

      Your experiences will not go away, Bella. The heartache that you have endured throughout this scenario would stir extreme emotions in any one individual, no matter how long it has been. Thank you for sharing, and we hope you are well.

  22. Sara November 3, 2018 at 1:43 am

    My brother dies October 3 at 32 years old. He had been sexually abused as a child, was raped as a teen, and was severely depressed. He wanted so badly to be liked and get attention that he would do things that he was not proud of to get that attention. He was disgusted with himself, bipolar, schizophrenic, and sociopathic. He had smiling depression and always made us all laugh to hide his crippling painful depression. He would cut himself, and once slashed his arm deeply with intentions of killing himself only to be fascinated by the blood so he just stopped and stared at it. He had been living with me, he came to my house with pancreatitis, he would have to crawl to the bathroom, and was horribly ill. My two children had to watch this but have thankfully forgotten those parts of him living with us. My only condition to him living with me was that he not drink. He stopped drinking for 7 months and got addicted to working out, smoking cigarettes, eating candy, and drinking energy drinks. Unfortunately, he started going back to the city where he used to party/drink again (I live around a lot of farm land) and went right back to it. I found out that he was sneaking alcohol when he fell asleep in the bathroom and his eyes were half open and his speech was slurred. I was so angry with him I had to kick him out. He lived in a hotel that my parents gave him money to stay in, and he still continued to drink and hide water bottles filled with vodka in the toilet water tank. My parents enabled him and allowed him to get $440 every 2 weeks for “taking care” of my disabled brothers when in reality he would come to my house drunk while I was at work and sleep on my couch until I got off from work. He moved from the motel to his girlfriends home where he was drinking 3 2 liter bottle of chardonnay per day and was peeing on himself/pooping on himself. He was lonely in the end after having pushed all his friends away and would call me sobbing and drunk sometimes. I feel bad that I would purposely ignore his calls sometimes because I was angry with him. The day before his death he started vomiting large amounts of blood and couldn’t drink because he would throw it up, and was having multiple seizures. He refused to go to the hospital and had went into a coma by the time his girlfriend finally decided to call 911. He died several hours later and we were notified when the police showed up at my house. My brother broke my heart. He was the only walking/talking sibling that I had, and I have no one now. No one to complain about my parents to, make me laugh, and joke about times in the past. The last months of his life I was mad, disappointed,sad, depressed, and I hadn’t seen my brother in 9 months prior to his death. I wanted to avoid seeing him until he was sober, but he never got sober. . That “one day” never happened. I miss him, and what his life could have been.. He was brilliant, intelligent, could play any instrument that he picked up, could debate pretty much anyone and win. But inside he was so dark and sad. He hated drinking, and wished he had never started, but in the end he just gave into it and stopped trying to quit.He let it consume him. May he rest in happiness, he would always say that he wasn’t made for this world, and he let the guilt from his abuse torment and consume him until his last breath. I wish I could have saved him, I wish I could have healed him…I wish I could have said goodbye and tell him I love him.

    • Ashwood Recovery November 5, 2018 at 8:45 pm

      Thank you for sharing your experiences with your brother, Sara. We wish you and your loved ones well.

  23. Hans vanderbelt November 13, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    I am reading these stories and sadened by the reality of alcoholism to the family members of the abusers. I myself am over 2 months sober now and in my sobriety i have been clear headed enough to see and realize the hardships my loved ones have had to endure. As mentioned above, the abuser can only stop when they are ready. I was lucky enough to wake up one morning and realize how lucky i was to of woken up. I called it quits and have been sober since. Sounds easy right? After 20 years of drinking, this was no easy task. While i dont really have the urge to drink, i still have triggers. Those are hard to over come. I do not believe i am “cured”. But the pros out way the cons and i feel like i would be cheating myself if i were to “just stop for one”. If anyone would like to chat about their problem then i would like to help and steer them on the right path. I know its only been 2 months for me but im stronger and healthier already. I believe helping others could help me on my road to recovery too. My father, deceased now, once told me, old habits die hard. I never knew what he meant by that until i needed that advice. I pass it on to you, the reader, now in hopes that you to will wake up one morning in mental clarity.

    • Ashwood Recovery November 14, 2018 at 8:35 pm

      Thank you for sharing your experiences and perspective, Hans, as well as your open invitation to help others! Happy holidays to you!

  24. Karen November 13, 2018 at 11:26 pm

    My brother was just found deceased this morning from alcoholism/ withdrawal, he refused help ?

    • Ashwood Recovery November 14, 2018 at 8:33 pm

      Take care, Karen. Wishing you and your family the best.

  25. Karen November 15, 2018 at 6:21 pm

    My daughter is in final stage alcoholisim, Dr’s don’t tell you what to expect so reading this page has me scared for her, she was given 1 to 2yrs to live unless she stops but she just can’t after 24yrs of drinking,2 rehab attempts failed and I think she has accepted she won’t ever beat this, I’m heartbroken and feel so much resentment toward her abusers in her youth

    • Ashwood Recovery November 18, 2018 at 1:36 am

      We wish you and your daughter the best, Karen. It is definitely scary, be sure to stay strong, and be there for her.

  26. Terina Campbell November 18, 2018 at 5:16 pm

    My mother died from end stage alcoholism the worst part was watching her lay there and slowly die she refused help i found her dead im still VERY heart broken

    • Ashwood Recovery November 23, 2018 at 8:59 pm

      That experience would be hard on anyone, Terina. Happy holidays to you, and we wish you the best.

  27. Linda November 25, 2018 at 6:16 pm

    My brother died last Thursday. He was 57 years old & I have tried to help him for 20 years. We finally got him to agree to rehab 6 days prior. He was too weak to argue or refuse. Did not visit him & had cut off contact with him 8 weeks before because I just couldn’t take the madness anymore. The rehab phoned after 5 days & told me he had to be hospitalised for a drip. Phoned the hospital & they would not give us any info but said they would phone us if he got worse. Thought everything was okay and he was in safe hands. Called the hospital in the morning & were told we should get there fast. He was already in a coma, on life support with multiple organ failure & pneumonia. I had no idea he was sick – all he complained about was a sore hip from a fall. We sent him to rehab to save his life but he died. I am crushed. The guilt &,remorse & regret I feel for trying tough love for a few weeks. The shock that he had pneumonia & I never noticed. He died alone & scared thinking we threw him away. I never got to tell him I loved him. Never got to say goodbye. He was the most talented craftsman, artist, metalworker, songwriter- there was nothing he couldn’t make or do. Alcohol destroyed his stong, muscular body & left him stranded on a lonely island of insanity. He had become completely paranoid, a hoarder, terrified, enraged, insecure & unable to take care of himself or even clean his room or cook a meal. My eldest brother died 14 years ago from a gunshot wound – he shot himself after a 4 hour drinking binge. He was an alcoholic. My mother died 2 years ago. She was an alcoholic. I could not save one of them. My guilt & remorse is drowning me. I should have told him how much i appreciated the beautiful things he made. I should have saved him. I should not have stopped looking after him. Alcohol is a serial killer & destroyer of joy, destroyer of hope & destroyer of families.

    • Ashwood Recovery November 28, 2018 at 2:18 am

      Thank you for sharing your powerful experience, Linda. We wish you the best.

    • Jenn November 28, 2018 at 3:51 am

      Your story is heartbreaking! I am so sorry for all of your loss and I hope you find peace. You emanate love for your brother. He felt that, even through the tough love. My brother nearly died in a similar situation and he tells me he knew we loved him, even when we closed our doors to him. They know. And you, or your love, couldn’t fix them. It’s still a terrible place to be. Peace.

  28. Claire February 21, 2019 at 9:30 pm

    I am sorry to say that I lost someone very special to me last month. After a very tumultuous relationship, I now understand that he had Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). At times of stress, he used alcohol to calm his emotions, but, sadly, it was the alcohol that took his life. He was just 48 years old. I can’t begin to imagine the turmoil he must’ve gone through. My heart goes out to anyone else out there who is going through this, or is trying to support someone with these issues.

    • Ashwood Recovery February 26, 2019 at 5:44 pm

      Sorry to hear about your loss and wish you the comfort and peace as you continue on your journey!

  29. Richard February 26, 2019 at 9:43 am

    My former brother-in-law moved back to his home town about 3 years ago. His younger sister was going through divorce and problems of a new relationship and it seemed natural they would help each other out by sharing the bills. I was married to their oldest sister for 25 years but we had divorced back in 2001 so I had not seen much of my former in laws. But my children stayed in touch with the family quite often. I only heard later that my brother-in-law had issues with alcohol and I advised my children to avoid using alcohol quite often as it was not something my family had indulged in. But it seemed many people who had alcohol problems had indeed married into the family. All three of my sisters had married men that either had or developed alcohol issues. I live a lone and separated from all of this and only hear of these things through the confessions of a daughter who visits often.
    This morning she called, crying and upset, her aunt and uncle had moved next door to them about a year ago. Her cousin had come over early to see his mother only to find their uncle had passed away while sitting in his chair. No one had heard anything, or knew he was in any distress. Details about the last few days have not been made available yet, everyone is in shock. I believe he was around 48 years old or so. I am sure his sister who has seen 3 members of her family die in the past 5 years is going to need special attention. I believe she is an alcoholic as well but keeps it hidden well. Alcohol was something I always shied away from but rarely used and when I did I always pushed it farther away. I ran in circle who thought drinking was cool although I seldom had more than a beer if anything at all. I think some events I remember from my childhood shaped the idea alcohol was dangerous and should be respected and used rarely. I only remember my brother in law as a small child in a large family for I had lost track of him not long after he left home. His father, had defeated his own addiction but not until it had done great harm to him physically. Another brother is living much the same way, a third abused drugs and alcohol and died of cancer. The grief is deep, even for those that are distant because of divorce and broken families. Soul ties are forever, there is no avoiding the grief.

    • Ashwood Recovery February 26, 2019 at 5:31 pm

      Sorry to hear about your losses! We agree that the addiction affects run deep, as it truly is a family disease since it affects so much more than the person with the disease. We hope you and your family find peace!

  30. karen w. cox March 8, 2019 at 6:45 pm

    I have just finished reading the full article on End Stage alcoholism and it’s like reading the life story of my stepson. He is 37 yrs old and at stage 4 of cirrhosis, has gone through 2 rehabs with a 10 day stay in the hospital to assist him through detox and try to mend many of his health problems. He had huge bruises and his skin and eyes were yellow. The skin is still yellow. He is currently on a paid suspension from his employment to try again to get the help he needs to beat this addiction. But he has decided that it was too difficult to stay sober, refuses to seek counseling or continue to attend AA meeting. His father and I have tried to do almost everything to get him to change his mind. We have consistently reminded him that deaths door is not all that far away. Continually we try to reassure him of our love and concern . He has chosen to continue to drink his vodka, straight, stopped all meds and also refused to get a shot from his physician, to curb his desire for his drug of choice. He has said that he has “issues” but won’t talk about them or even talk to a doctor. Currently, he has been on a week long binge, sleeping and eating is not a priority. Am I wrong to think that this may be a suicide mission?

  31. DJ March 29, 2019 at 6:50 pm

    As I read about end stage, I feel like this is where my husband is but then I wonder is this possible. He never misses work and that I know he doesn’t drink when working but just as soon he’s off he stops at the nearest liquor store to buy a pint of Jim Beam and will drink the entire bottle and sometimes will start or finish a 2nd bottle depending on his mood. Which usually is over a 4-5 hr period . When off work on weekends or vacations he will start drinking as soon as he can and depending on his mood is how much he drinks. Most of the time he will drink, eat and pass out, wake up and start all over and continue this process through out the day. He admits to me he has a drinking problem but says he will die before he quits. His co workers are aware just by how he is at work not drinking with his shaking hands.

    I see the change in his body, I see the behavior and hygiene changes the memory confusion and forgetfulness. He sees his doctor every 6 mos for prescription refills for BP and other meds. But unless i’m there with him he will not answer truthfully about his drinking consumption. So I don’t think he’s giving his doctor the information needed to actually benefit him. Last year he passed out at work and was told by work nurse his BP was extremely low he had to see his doctor to be released back to work which turned into a 6 week out. During this time labs were done and his Liver function was extremely high and ultra sound showed fatty liver. Kidney function was was found to be low and was told it was close to failing. Meds given and labs stabled to more normal but each lab results show different with up then down. A few months later he was sick with pancreatitis and treated. 2 years ago on his colonoscopy found 27 polyps, one year later he had 7. The last upper endoscopy which was several years ago showed pre cancer cells and he was treated for that. I look at how much he drinks and think that he’s fortunate to have these close calls and nothing at this point serious, But I feel like he’s a walking time bomb! He drinks while driving home from work…. I just don’t know what to do, after 32 years of marriage I feel like I have to save myself from this diseases or its going to kill me before it kills him. I guess what i’m looking for is answers. Does this sound like end stage? How do you help someone that doesn’t want to help them self? Does the up and down from of these labs make sense?

  32. Sandra M March 29, 2019 at 11:12 pm

    My sister is 51 and has been drinking for over 10 years. I think she is in stage 4 or end stage alcoholism because she is a fall risk and has fallen so many times. The last time she had to have brain surgery from a clot that developed from a fall. Now she can’t walk and is trying to use a walker. She just got out of the hospital today and her blood pressure was 92/58. She has been hospitalized at least 5 times in the last 2 years and just last year was on life support but made it back and the hospital was astonished. She has been in physical therapy so many times I can’t even remember how many. I just made up in my mind that I am not going to be helping her do anything anymore because she refuses to go to rehab. She had been in rehab 3 times before and it didn’t work. I am so tired.

    • Ashwood Recovery April 3, 2019 at 7:23 pm

      So sorry you are going through this Sandra! Without her having mobility is it possible to keep alcohol away from her this time? We wish you and your sister all the best on this tough journey!

      • Christy Martin April 6, 2019 at 12:22 pm

        I just lost my dad 4 four weeks ago also to this disease. Sadly I didn’t know how bad he was until his autopsy. My dad was definitely spared from suffering. He lived in the Fl Keys on a boat and I am in PA. He tripped, fell, became unconscious, fell in to the water and was swept out into the ocean. Thanking God everyday they found his body in 1hour. My Dad was such a high functioning alcoholic and hid it so well. The autopsy showed he was in the end stages. Severe cirrhosis of the liver, scar tissue on his kidneys, enlarged heart , and was beginning to develop sepsis. I kept begging him to come up to Pa to visit this winter because I have 3 little ones. He always had an excuse. Now I know why. Because he was in an atmosphere that excepted his alcoholism and he didn’t have to hid it like he would if he came here to stay for a week in my home. I was just 3 weeks away from visiting him and he past. But I know from his autopsy report he would probably have been in the hospital during our vacation with sepsis and suffering at the end. I want to give everyone a huge applause for even trying to get help. I admire them SOOOO MUCH. I never knew how bad this disease was until it was too late. My dad was an expert and hiding it and functioning that I didn’t realize how addicted he was until it was too late. Breaks my heart I lost my dad that I was so closed to and I still didn’t even know how bad it was. It ruins people’s lives forever. I never got a chance to say goodbye.

        • Ashwood Recovery April 8, 2019 at 4:27 pm

          So sorry to hear about the loss of your dad! We wish you and your family the peace you need to continue on.

  33. Megan April 23, 2019 at 11:45 pm

    I was so sorry to read so many heartbreaking stories & the horror some people go through at the hands of others who are addicted to this evil. As a daughter of a 25yr NASTY manipulative LAZY alcoholic, who constantly urinates & defecates on himself & then blames everyone else around him, I have lived through daily abuse & understand the complex emotions a person goes through when subjected to this sort of behaviour by someone you are supposed to love. So many people blame themselves for the other persons addictions. But everyone should always remember, YOU CANNOT HELP SOMEONE UNLESS THEY WANT TO HELP THEMSELVES.

    • Ashwood Recovery April 25, 2019 at 9:59 pm

      Thank you so much for sharing your experiences! We wish you and your family nothing but the best!

  34. Jennifer May 10, 2019 at 1:24 pm

    My heart is still breaking as I write this. My mom passed away in her sleep last week due to this terrible addiction. When I was 14, I saw she was drinking everyday and hiding it and urged her to get help, which thank God she did back then. She was sober for 20 years until my grandmother passed away 12 years ago…then she fell off the wagon hard. Vodka was her poison of choice and she had it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I did everything I could to try to get her to stop. I had beds waiting for her numerous times at detox facilities, but she just flat out refused to get help. She was diagnosed with stage 3 renal failure a few years ago and I begged and pleaded with her to get help to no avail. She fell almost daily and towards the end she was so depressed that she barely got out of bed. She was such a beautiful woman inside and out and this addiction robbed her and my family of her beauty and of her life! I am so sad and angry because this didn’t have to happen! The only good that will hopefully come of this is my 23 year old son now realizes he has a problem with alcohol and after mom’s untimely death has decided to go to rehab! Thank God because I cannot lose my son as well as my mother to this terrible addiction. Please pray for him that he can get a grip on this and not let it destroy his life like it did my sweet moms. This is the worst pain I have ever experienced…seeing a loved one kill themselves slowly day by day and stop caring about themselves, their family or anything at all except alcohol. My heart goes out to all that this has effected…I pray for peace for others that have lost loved ones needlessly by this disease and also for those going thru this now…please get help and save everyone the heartache! Peace and Love!

  35. Francis May 24, 2019 at 12:53 am

    My family is dealing with this at the moment. My youngest brother is an amazing person when he is sober. We don’t blame him for his addiction and only tell him we love him and want him around. I try never to judge him as I don’t understand the grip he is in. On the other hand he has opportunities to have a great life if he could maintain his sobriety. We have noticed that this desease is progressive and only gets worst. He pretty much won’t or can’t stop now, pushed family away mostly, isnalone when he drinks, mentally and physically dieing. It’s terribly sad.

    • Ashwood Recovery June 3, 2019 at 4:53 pm

      Sorry to hear about what your family is going through! We wish all of you the best.

  36. Melissa May 27, 2019 at 4:43 am

    My husband has been drinking daily for 22 years, the past two years he has 6-7 beer during the day starting around 8am and then continues to scotch about 1/2 a bottle(1.14litres) a day. He’s eyes are are yellow, he hardly eats, his stomach is puffed out, he forgets previous day, he lost about 30 lbs in the past 2 months.
    He stopped going to the office and works only from home, I can only get him in the shower maybe once a week after arguing. Few times a week he literally is so drunk I have to carry him to the bed.He won’t see a doctor he says he just wants to enjoy his life. I don’t know how much longer his body can take it. Is he in end stage? How long will he live?

    • Ashwood Recovery June 3, 2019 at 4:47 pm

      The answers to your questions can only be answered by a medical doctor with testing. Sorry, you are going through this, sounds like he definitely needs help either by a medical professional explaining the impact and/or rehab to help move beyond his alcohol addiction. We wish you both all the best during this difficult time!

  37. Gayle Brown May 28, 2019 at 3:32 am

    It’s almost comforting to read all these stories from people who have gone through what I’m now going through with my brother. 16 months ago we got a call from his landlord telling us he’s being evicted and we need to come and move him out of the property as he was afraid that my brother was going to burn the place down. My brother has been making his own wine for the past 30 years or more and it’s been to his detriment. I stopped by his shop one day and there were six five gallon carboys of the stuff fermenting int the shop area and two weeks later stopped in again and there were gone with no sign of any of it being bottled. Tell me how a person can consume this much wine in two weeks. Well we moved him of there and stored all his banjo building equipment in an old chicken house and brought him to stay at my house where he continues to build fires. He had been evicted from another house for the same reason as well and a third rental house burned completely to the ground as he left a fire unattended and went off to see his girlfriend.
    Don’t know if this propensity for building fires has anything to do with his alcoholism but it’s going to get him into a mental institution very quickly!!!!! My son thinks he can make him better but all he does is take him to the store to buy beer as he thinks giving him what he wants to keep him happy is the answer but really and truly it’s NOT. My brother has all the symptoms of end stage and seems
    very childlike and doesn’t seem to realize that what he’s doing is wrong. I stay angry all the time and been so stressed out that I’ve
    had shingles three times since he’s been here. I found out that you don’t have to have power of attorney to get someone committed
    if they are setting fires as it’s a danger to himself and me. My son thinks that it’s throwing a person away by having him committed and doesn’t want me to do it, however he’s leaving town next week and I’ve been working with two psychiatrists and a psychiatric nurse who have a been a great help so the job is going to get done in short order. Thanks for all the stories as it’s been a great help.

    • Ashwood Recovery June 3, 2019 at 4:41 pm

      Sorry to hear about all you are going through, but it definitely seems like the best option is to get him the help he needs. We wish you all the best for you and your family!

  38. RB May 30, 2019 at 4:06 am

    I’m so sorry for all who have posted their stories here. Such a wretched disease. I just lost my best friend of 35 years to this disease. She came to stay with my husband and I, 8 months ago while she relocated, I had no idea how bad her alcoholism was. 5 days after she came to stay with us her daughter 29yo (also an alcoholic) committed suicide. This sent her into a quick self destruct spiral downward. It took 6 months before we had to ask her to leave. It was so stressful for us, and she did have other options for housing but all involved no drinking, and she rather sleep in her car then stop drinking. She lasted only 2 months living in her car and I eventually had to detach from the relationship to protect myself. The last message I received from her was horrible, she was so pissed that I cut her off especially after she lost everything but I just couldn’t do it anymore!!! She passed away the next day and I feel so incredibly horrible at the way it all ended. I know I’m not to blame, in any way, she made her choices but i still hate how it ended. She reached out several times right before she passed and I didn’t answer. I hate what this disease did to two beautiful souls, and what it’s done to her circle of friends and family. They will do an autopsy but I’m pretty sure it was liver failure. Thanks for listening to my story

    • Ashwood Recovery June 3, 2019 at 4:34 pm

      Thank you for sharing your story, and sorry for your losses! We hope you will find the peace needed to move forward.

  39. clint July 14, 2019 at 1:26 am

    I am a 28 year old who just developed wet brain two days ago. I thought about ending my life today, because I’ve only read that it’s a quick downhill slope, but this article really has given me hope. thanks

    • Ashwood Recovery August 1, 2019 at 10:11 pm

      Glad the article has been beneficial to you! It is possible to get better, so stay positive!

    • Stacey September 11, 2019 at 2:12 pm

      My brother died last night from alcohol.
      Please please please get help for yourself —

  40. Leslie Cowan August 22, 2019 at 5:20 pm

    Sounds to me my Ex husband is perhaps in the late stages here. Our estranged daughter and i went to see him in the hospital and we were shocked at his appearance. His face looks so different so swollen arms are all black and blue. He has really bad tremors. They have done a liver biospy. He originally went in with abdomenal pain had a colonoscpy that is when he had some seizures. He has been hospitalized since then. Sad to see our daughter sitting on the bed both crying. This is why i left my husband 16 years ago fearing for this exact situation to arise. Feeling very badly today..

    • Ashwood Recovery August 26, 2019 at 5:48 pm

      Sorry to hear about what you and your daughter are going through with your ex-husband.

  41. Selin August 27, 2019 at 3:40 am


    It is never too late to get better! Please believe in yourself and seek help to aid in your recovery. At 28, you have your whole life ahead of you. I unfortunately lost someone I love recently to this disease. I did not know the extent of it and wish I did more to help. Again, please have the courage, that I know you have, and get help. I wish you the best!

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